Apologies and Portugeuse, Pride and Prune Juice - justin_guber

Apologies and Portugeuse, Pride and Prune Juice

First off, apologies to Saj and the good people of Shoreditch for putting the wrong name of the club for the toilet photo in 'Pictures of Goats'. It's not 53 North. Its 93 feet east. Or 92. Maybe 91. 90-something. I don't know...

But I'm very curious as to where 53 North came from. If you asked me for a bearing, this is what I'd say, first thing off my head. But I don't know why. So if you have a suggestion as to where this bearing came from, do let me know.

Speaking of Saj, he called me last night to tell me how much he laughed out loud over the last post about educational smut mags in Malaysia. I think it's called 'Educate or titilate', or the other way round. Anyway, cheers for that. Good to know that someone's enjoying all this.

It's also made me realize that this shit is funny, the whole urge for smut in Malaysia and the incessent lack of. So from now on I'm going to try and hunt down as much smut-related material I can muster that is related to Malaysia. So far, I've got a couple calling cards for pimps (one of which is laugh out loud hillarious), and I know my mom's got a copy of 'Mastika' with the headline 'Monkey ate my genitals', accompanied by a VERY disturbing photo. Must find that one and upload it.

However, all that's not enough. If any of you guys out there have anything smut related and 100% malaysian that I could post up, do let me know. In fact, anything weird and wacky but 100% Malaysian would be great. It's time these little oddities got the recognition they deserve.

In particular, if anyones got any of the following, I'd be much obliged if you can send it over via e-mail or next time you meet me:

1. The infamous MAS smut vcd

2. The also infamous smut vcd of the Malaysian celebrity (or was it a Datin?) humping her fat husband with the increadibly tiny dick (if you've seen it, you'll know which one I'm talking about)

3. Any of the original copies (not off the news websites) of the whole 'Black Metal' fiasco. Those are good. If anyone's got the article on 'pink metal', that'd be great

4. Any pimp calling cards

5. Any kick ass headlines concerning smut, underground music, or anything else that people write about without using a brain, from the Harian Metro, Mastika or any other tabloid paper or mag

6. The pics (or vcd) of the UITM students getting jiggy

Now, before anyone starts calling me a perverted mongrel addicted to five knuckle shuffles, let me get one thing straight- I am not a perverted satanist, I am not a molester, or peeping tom, or, god forbid, rapist. I do not fiddle with four year olds and I do not enjoy being peed or shat on.

However, I enjoy discovering the perverse. These items in no way titilate or excite me, but amuse me to no lengths. If you take away the primal sexual instinct when first viewing porn, and take a look even deeper, you'll find a very fucked up world indeed.

I've often contemplated why these things pique my curiosity, and I think it's this:

Many people often read books as a means of escape. People read about sci-fi, horror, romance and adventure to get away from it all and immerse themselves in a world that fascinates them, a world full of wonder and excitement.

I don't. I don't enjoy reading any of the above as much as I enjoy reading another type of fiction that I haven't found the definition yet, but is best described as 'stories of very fucked up people and/or occurences'.

As an example, here's a list of some of my favorite fiction (not including graphic novels):

1. Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S Thompson
2. Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
3. Tropic of Cancer - Henry Miller
4. Pimp - Iceberg Slim
5. Fight Club & Choke - Chuck Palahniuk
6. Prozac Nation - Can't fucking remember the woman's name

And, just purchased, 'Generation S.M.U.T.' by Marty something.

The best reason I can come up with for enjoying reading about worlds so intensely buggered beyond comparison is that it keeps me sane. It reminds me that I'm quite normal, and so is my life, for all intents and purposes. These are not worlds I wish to live in or people I wish to meet. They just remind me that there is someone much more fucked in the head than I am, and it's very reassuring.

There. Food for thought.

Also, quite chuffed today. The article I wrote for KLue has been published in the latest issue. I'm not too proud of the actual article, the fact that I played it safe and just reported what happened, but, finally, something I wrote has been published in a magazine that is actually read widely.

Excuse me whilst I do a jig.

2.7.04 05:01

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